CAPS LOCK

capslock

Why are you yelling?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN EXACTLY?

THIS IS HOW I ALWAYS TYPE.

WITH AUTHORITY.

I’M A WALKING CAPS LOCK.

THAT’S MY IMAGE.

MY SCHTICK.

I AM CAPS LOCK.

Please!

If you could stop the emphasizations I would appreciate it.

I can barely read what your typing with all that yelling.

Your fingers must be more worn out then the boat slaves from “Ben-Hur.”

REALLY DUDE “BEN-HUR” REFERENCES?

I’m sorry were you typing something.

I was trying to read it but it was so loud that I couldn’t quite understand the point you were trying to make.

IS THIS SOME SORT OF A RUSE?

Ohhh…

I accidentally had caps lock on sorry!

You’re so EMF.

Porque?

YOU’RE UNBELIEVABLE!

Could you please keep it down.

I’m on the library computer.

© 2014 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved.​

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White Flag

whiteflag

Brother Alias, “I need you to take a photo of the front of your license and send it to me for Comcast.”

Response courtesy of Jfreshly (yours truly)

In this world there is a constant battle between two sides.

One side is symbolized by the egg.

Then there is the side that aligns with the snake.

I can’t recall which side I’m fighting for.

But, what I do know is there is a point where you put down your guns, dispose of the bullets, and put up the white flag.

Today is that day.

You will get your picture with my license sent to you accordingly in a timely matter.

Be sure to tell those suckers at Comcast I no longer want to use their services.

Because they suck eggs not to be confused with actually being an egg of course which would be an entirely different awkward text message.

They can just suck them but not actually be them.

Which is the point I was trying to make coherently obvious.

This message was sent to you by the man with opposable thumbs.

(I’m listening to Jazz please don’t call the looney bin)

Sincerely your brother on this day of our lord.

© 2014 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved.​

Big Brother is Watching

worddpress

Apparently there is a new chat feature available.  Where a staff member from WordPress.com can create a chat window and start dialog.  On Thursday this chat function appeared as I was perusing WordPress for brain science theory (reading material).  Here is the conversation that ensued.

It all started with a question mark.

Below is the transcript from your recent chat with WordPress.com
jfreshly ?
Jason – WordPress.com Hi there!
Jason – WordPress.com How can I help?
jfreshly It’s too late for that.
jfreshly How did this chat pop up?
Jason – WordPress.com The chat is based on operator availability. We are trying to expand our availability to cover more users in more timezones.
jfreshly Ohh.  Well that’s cool.
Jason – WordPress.com Thanks!
jfreshly Can I chat with other bloggers?
jfreshly Or is this more of a help icon.
Jason – WordPress.com Just for support for now.
Jason – WordPress.com You can add a chat widget to your site if you would like.
jfreshly Cool.  Ill have to look into that.
Jason – WordPress.com Anything else I can help you with?
jfreshly Have any cute Asians lying around that like long hugs and funny cat Gifs?
Jason – WordPress.com Bwahahahaha
Jason – WordPress.com That’s fantastic.
Jason – WordPress.com Have a great rest of your night man.
jfreshly Thanks! You as well.

© 2014 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved.​

A True Yankees Fan

photo (11)

Apparently, fashioning the sticker on the brim of a hat has been a fad since the 80’s.  It all started with leaving tags on popular items from companies such as Nike, Starter, Adidas, Reebok, so on and so forth.  I’m a die hard Baltimore Orioles fan so when I saw my co-worker wearing a Yankees hat with the sticker on the brim it led to this conversation.

Jfreshly: Sup Matheno nice hat bro

Matheno: Thanks man!

Jfreshly: Hey Matheno I’ve been meaning to ask you something.

Matheno:  Yeah?

Jfreshly:  Well, I was wondering what the reason is for leaving the sticker on the brim of the hat.  Is it because you plan on returning it after the season the Yankees just had?

Matheno:  Laughingly he says, “yeah man you got me.”

Orioles

After lunch I was parlaying cognitive NFL knowledge into fan duel lineups when Matheno swaggered back into the office.  The Co-workers and I were no longer blinded by sticker glare emanating from the brim of the evil empire’s cap.  His fandom became quite evident.  I could feel the pride in his cissy strut (insert Meters reference here) as he entered his workstation.

photo (12)

Matheno and I are pretty tight so its all in good fun.  I did crack up quite a bit when he rolled back in to the office after he removed the sticker from the brim.

While writing this blog post I did a bit of research and found this tidbit on Wikipedia, “After beginning play in Baltimore, Maryland as the Baltimore Orioles in 1901, the club moved to New York two years later and became the Highlanders; in 1913, the team changed its nickname to the Yankees.”  So basically we are baseball brothers from another mother!

He could have brought up how the Yankees have won 18 division titles, 40 AL pennants, and 27 World Series championships, all of which are Major League Baseball records.   Instead he removed the sticker to let me know he took his team seriously and I respect that. He knew I was ecstatic that the Orioles had won the division pennant after a 17 year drought.   I guess he will wear that brim like a badge of honor.  It’s more enjoyable to joke with him about the sticker water mark anyways.  🙂

Friends

© 2014 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved.