To Draft Amongst Kings

onionringofpowerA sports minded hobbit sets his fantasy football lineups.
Then places his weekly lottery tickets into an envelope.
A wax seal emblem pressed: The House of Freshness represented.
Mailed to the Giants at the Meadow Lands delivered by the “Quick Post”.
Shipped by the boats of the Southron Buccaneers in the bay of Tampa.
The Eagles watch over the financials along the arduous travel.
Then flown to “The Bank” by the Ravens, Edgar, Allan, and Poe.
The all seeing eye embossed in flame always watching.
The nameless fear that sports the prestigious Burger King crown.
He who enchants his legendary lineups with the Palantír (Great seeing stones of statistical advantage).
A shadowy figure cooks twenty Onion Rings in the heart of Mount Doom.
Three Onion Rings given out to the Elven-kings under the sky of Hail Mary.
Seven Onion Rings given out to the Dwarf-Lords in their halls of analytic sports mining.
Nine Onion Rings given out to the Mortal Men of gambling addiction doomed to be broke.
All of whom were deceived.
One Onion Ring for the Dark Draft King.
In the noxious landscape of online weekly fantasy football draft farms.
One Onion Ring to rule them all.
One Onion ring to find out what lineups the people of middle earth will start each week.
One Onion Ring to bring them all and in the gamble fleece them.
In the land of the Internet where the owners of Draft Kings and Fanduel lie.
The One Onion Ring of power forged in the deepest fryers of Mordor where the shadows devour “The Whoppers”.
As time passed the scripture engraved on the One Onion Ring to rule them all faded.
Only when dipped in heated zesty Onion Ring sauce would the ancient elvish scripture illuminate in a fiery red glow.
The translation: Concept of the four leaf clover.
In the high stakes den’s of Bree.
At the Prancing Pony.
A place where they have pitted fans against fans in a duel to the monetary death.
Shire folk wager with wizards, rangers, elves, dwarfs, and men from all over Middle Earth.
Their silver pennies, pence, and various precious metals the stake.
Wagered over games of linguistic riddles, dice, cards, and of course football.
The contestants eagerly watch games of lateral pig skin movement.
On pools of reflection.

*  “To Draft Amongst Kings” is a reflection of how I feel about the illegal market of insider analytics trading.  Draft Kings and Fan Duel are two major players in the weekly fantasy football market.  According to one source that I read there are allegations that employees of each site traded analytic information and had access to this analytic information when they created their lineups which won over $350,000 last week.    Employees of both companies have access to statistical data that allow them to have a incredible edge over the average player.  They have access to what percentage of people are playing certain players.  Also, they are responsible for setting the draft prices for each player.  This is an example of insider trading and can’t be tolerated.  Both companies have issued a statement, which included an apology, and a promise that in the future employees will not be able to play in any weekly fantasy football tournaments on either of the weekly fantasy football draft farms.  There is in fact a class action lawsuit and if you would like to find out more about it here is a link.

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved

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To the Honor of Palindromes

fall

The aerial view of the sky

A picture perfect planetary azure

Outdoor scenery lush

In the reflection of the sun’s gaze

Color is a perception

Primary yellows and blues meshed into vibrant greens

As the symphony of autumn plays its sonnet

The woods transform

Into the autumn rainbow

It’s like a Thanks Giving Charlie Brown Episode

With every step

I pretend to hear lioness play his piano

With every step

The leaves below my feet sound like I’m chomping on peanuts

With every step

Sunlight glistens

The rush of water from the stream turns to a flow of starlight

The beauty of the moment triggers the thought of her smile

Soon I’ll see her lips…

Soon I’ll look into her eyes…

Soon we’ll enjoy fresh pizza pie…

Soon we’ll Netflix and chill…

In those hypothetical moments I’d find reflection

I’ll think to myself

On this day of our lord

I was in the right places at the right time…

To enjoy the elegance of the fall…

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved

Terraffic

trafficjam

It’s called rush hour

Except everyone is stuck in traffic

The rush to go no where

Is what they should’ve called this hour

Red light

Yellow light

Red light

The vicious cycle taunts

Double yellow lines not to be crossed

A man

A wild man

A contained beast

Trapped

I-83 mist of stagnation

Involuntary muscle movements

Left eyelid is closed in the fervor

Ears have begun to fume

Larynx is now sore (The uncontrollable emotion to yell out loud)

Cheek and nose gnarled

It is just like I’m in the middle of some sick game I had not intended to play (Whomever smelt it dealt it)

There is only one passenger in the vehicle (This game is far too easy to identify the perpetrator)

Take a deep breathe (Well maybe not that deep based on previous events of involuntary flatulence)

Put on a favorite tune

Drown out the melody that had previously occupied the brain space (For some reason it’s always the symphonic ballad from the Lord of the Rings scene where Peter Jackson does a panoramic view of Mount Doom)

Get that head bobbing

Those Shoulders swaying

Calm down

Think to yourself serenity now!

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved

Autumnaton

benchinthefall

Autumnaton

The Autumn winds refresh
As I sit outside on a wicker bench
The hills are calling
The trails are calling
The world is calling
As I turn the pages of this book
While I relax in my little nook
I think to myself
It’s good to be a lyrical gangster

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved

Mangerines

Jenga

There is a fine line between,

Dream and fascination,

Beauty and perception,

Greed and perfection,

Love and affection,

Affairs and temptation,

Laws and regulation.

The world is a floating puzzle orb.

The pieces are comprised of DNA modules.

The crossroads of the crossword.

Where lines of thought intersect with curiosity.

ACROSS

  1. Architectural consists of 54 blocks.

In a frequency of elegance.

Energy in the virtuoso.

I want my vocal chord pattern to mutter one phrase.

JENGA!

But, she beat me to it.

Based on my interpretation of the moment.

If you read between the lines.

This is what they call;

True and romance.

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved

Breathe into the bar

Could you please pass the chronic?

Would you like to hear Shakespeare on hydroponics?

Cause

Its Donnie Darkoisms

Mind power shared

Energy and Fate

Moments like these we share

Metaphysical handshakes.

Boys and girls have the same habits

of going to the bar and looking for Jessica Rabbit.

What goes up must come down

She yells

Moments like these we make Sir Isaac Proud.

Do you feel like dancing?

A bit of Rhythm Romancing?

There is something about her eyes that is so enchanting.

Its all I have ever loved,

All I have ever known,

All I have ever wanted,

All I have condoned.

I was split from the rift.

Freed from the real.

To come to find out this world is all about sex appeal.

I never went for the women in high heels.

Its the Jeaninne Garafolo’s

and on my tombstone

Reads

It took laughter to heal this soul.

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved

This is a re-post:  I recently watched the new season of “Wet Hot American Summer” via Netflix and decided it was a good time to share this poem again.  This was one of the first poems I posted on Modern Linguistics. Initially this was a freestyle that incubated inside of me and came out as poetic goo.  Once in a while I’ll still rock this out during a jam session.

Ghost Writer

firepen2

A finial is doused in a fiery impulse.
The ballpoint pen is the weapon of choice.
Shadows of the past.
Origin of the ghost writer.
It was somewhere in Oswego, New York.
When a contingent of like minded Phish fans bounced around the room.
A young Peter Parker Esq took a potent dose of hallucination.
As Lucy in the sky with diamonds tried to co-exist with the leprechaun from the Lucky Charms box.
The writer struggled in the cataclysm of his new reality.
A Latin tongue spoke in foreign linguistics.
Delusions of Grandeur.
Tempted by darkness.
Psychological thriller.
A man with Georgia peaches approached the campsite carrying an Amish styled fiddle case.
With a sinister grin, a stoic figure put down his wares, and pulled out his Uni-Ball Signo DX 0.38.
The lower tube was engraved with an gold felt elvish scripture. (This device was most likely forged in Mordor.)
His intentions became clear.
The devil had come to challenge this connoisseur of Modern Linguistics.
The Gauntlet had been laid down. (Elf needs food badly.)
Freestyle write by the fireside.
If the writer was victorious the demon would release him from the “Jedi Trip” and give him the coveted pen of the ghost writer.
If this apparition of the devil could spit hot fire and win the duel of freestyle; the writer would have to come through the erratic portal and re-write what would you do for a Klondike bar commercials throughout the duration of the existence of his soul. (Apparently demons are very fond of Klondike bars.)
Failure was not an option.
He became empowered to speak words in an order that seemed agreeable.
The writer was known to rap tight during full moon hikes and on this occasion just like many others he streamed his consciousness to the beat in a manner of perfection.
Timing.
Ferocity.
Concise delivery in a viscous manner.
This man was raised by literary animals.
On that night he literally devoured this devil like he was a cannibal.
Words flowed with hype as his rage became maniacal.
The man picked up his fiddle case and walked away in the moon glow.
Some say they overheard the demon whisper to his master.
I’ve done everything you have asked for please don’t hold me liable.
To beat Jfreshly in a freestyle battle is just not viable.

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved.