To Draft Amongst Kings

onionringofpowerA sports minded hobbit sets his fantasy football lineups.
Then places his weekly lottery tickets into an envelope.
A wax seal emblem pressed: The House of Freshness represented.
Mailed to the Giants at the Meadow Lands delivered by the “Quick Post”.
Shipped by the boats of the Southron Buccaneers in the bay of Tampa.
The Eagles watch over the financials along the arduous travel.
Then flown to “The Bank” by the Ravens, Edgar, Allan, and Poe.
The all seeing eye embossed in flame always watching.
The nameless fear that sports the prestigious Burger King crown.
He who enchants his legendary lineups with the Palantír (Great seeing stones of statistical advantage).
A shadowy figure cooks twenty Onion Rings in the heart of Mount Doom.
Three Onion Rings given out to the Elven-kings under the sky of Hail Mary.
Seven Onion Rings given out to the Dwarf-Lords in their halls of analytic sports mining.
Nine Onion Rings given out to the Mortal Men of gambling addiction doomed to be broke.
All of whom were deceived.
One Onion Ring for the Dark Draft King.
In the noxious landscape of online weekly fantasy football draft farms.
One Onion Ring to rule them all.
One Onion ring to find out what lineups the people of middle earth will start each week.
One Onion Ring to bring them all and in the gamble fleece them.
In the land of the Internet where the owners of Draft Kings and Fanduel lie.
The One Onion Ring of power forged in the deepest fryers of Mordor where the shadows devour “The Whoppers”.
As time passed the scripture engraved on the One Onion Ring to rule them all faded.
Only when dipped in heated zesty Onion Ring sauce would the ancient elvish scripture illuminate in a fiery red glow.
The translation: Concept of the four leaf clover.
In the high stakes den’s of Bree.
At the Prancing Pony.
A place where they have pitted fans against fans in a duel to the monetary death.
Shire folk wager with wizards, rangers, elves, dwarfs, and men from all over Middle Earth.
Their silver pennies, pence, and various precious metals the stake.
Wagered over games of linguistic riddles, dice, cards, and of course football.
The contestants eagerly watch games of lateral pig skin movement.
On pools of reflection.

*  “To Draft Amongst Kings” is a reflection of how I feel about the illegal market of insider analytics trading.  Draft Kings and Fan Duel are two major players in the weekly fantasy football market.  According to one source that I read there are allegations that employees of each site traded analytic information and had access to this analytic information when they created their lineups which won over $350,000 last week.    Employees of both companies have access to statistical data that allow them to have a incredible edge over the average player.  They have access to what percentage of people are playing certain players.  Also, they are responsible for setting the draft prices for each player.  This is an example of insider trading and can’t be tolerated.  Both companies have issued a statement, which included an apology, and a promise that in the future employees will not be able to play in any weekly fantasy football tournaments on either of the weekly fantasy football draft farms.  There is in fact a class action lawsuit and if you would like to find out more about it here is a link.

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved

Mogwai

Ghost

On a segment of my blog known as, “Arbitrary Information About a Ghost,” a wonderful blogger that goes by the moniker of Carisa Adrienne was kind enough to leave a comment of encouragement!  She blogs at Sometimes Silver Linings are Blue and I recommend that you check it out.  After a day of allowing the comment to sink in I decided to let my ability to write or lack there of do the correspondence.  If you would like to check out the original comment chain it can be found on “Arbitrary Information About a Ghost.”

This is the comment chain I speak of…

You made my night! I laughed so much  🙂 (She used the actual smiley face emoticon and if anyone would be so kind to tell me how to put in such emoticon I would be happy to fully recreate her comment) You are talented ❤️ (Apparently you can copy and paste the heart emoticon).

jfreshly says:

***smiles*** you are so talented. You have no idea how much I love this. You have made my day once again. ❤️

Why is this in the comment section and not a post?

Ummmmmm, I think you should post it!
Btw…. I make up words too. : )
I’m going to go and find me some jelly belly oh telly 🙂

Also.. Since you didn’t add the ***heart*** I will. ❤️

P.S. Thank you so much Carisa!  Have a wonderful weekend!!!

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved

Ghost Writer

firepen2

A finial is doused in a fiery impulse.
The ballpoint pen is the weapon of choice.
Shadows of the past.
Origin of the ghost writer.
It was somewhere in Oswego, New York.
When a contingent of like minded Phish fans bounced around the room.
A young Peter Parker Esq took a potent dose of hallucination.
As Lucy in the sky with diamonds tried to co-exist with the leprechaun from the Lucky Charms box.
The writer struggled in the cataclysm of his new reality.
A Latin tongue spoke in foreign linguistics.
Delusions of Grandeur.
Tempted by darkness.
Psychological thriller.
A man with Georgia peaches approached the campsite carrying an Amish styled fiddle case.
With a sinister grin, a stoic figure put down his wares, and pulled out his Uni-Ball Signo DX 0.38.
The lower tube was engraved with an gold felt elvish scripture. (This device was most likely forged in Mordor.)
His intentions became clear.
The devil had come to challenge this connoisseur of Modern Linguistics.
The Gauntlet had been laid down. (Elf needs food badly.)
Freestyle write by the fireside.
If the writer was victorious the demon would release him from the “Jedi Trip” and give him the coveted pen of the ghost writer.
If this apparition of the devil could spit hot fire and win the duel of freestyle; the writer would have to come through the erratic portal and re-write what would you do for a Klondike bar commercials throughout the duration of the existence of his soul. (Apparently demons are very fond of Klondike bars.)
Failure was not an option.
He became empowered to speak words in an order that seemed agreeable.
The writer was known to rap tight during full moon hikes and on this occasion just like many others he streamed his consciousness to the beat in a manner of perfection.
Timing.
Ferocity.
Concise delivery in a viscous manner.
This man was raised by literary animals.
On that night he literally devoured this devil like he was a cannibal.
Words flowed with hype as his rage became maniacal.
The man picked up his fiddle case and walked away in the moon glow.
Some say they overheard the demon whisper to his master.
I’ve done everything you have asked for please don’t hold me liable.
To beat Jfreshly in a freestyle battle is just not viable.

© 2015 Jfreshly Modern Linguistics Song Blog. All Rights Reserved.